Quinn Queries on Quarterbacks
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day four hundred and eighty-eight:  abc 17 of 26  Faced with repeating a pattern, Quinn needs a moment to collect herself and reflect.


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 23rd cycle. Now cycle 24!_

_**ALPHABET 2.0** - So nearly a year ago (HA!) I had done a set of stories taking inspiration by words, three for each letter of the alphabet (started with Acapella, Audition Arts in mid-February and every other day to April). Well now I wanted to do something like that, but using the alphabet another way. Instead of random words, I made sentences, all with those same letters (you'll see). The first half was in cycle 22, now here's the second half in cycle 24!  
**TODAY:** (17 of 26) Q is for..._

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**"Quinn Queries on Quarterbacks"  
Quinn, Finn/Quinn, Sam/Quinn **

She had retouched her make-up, on and on, while she waited for the bathroom to empty. She didn't think she'd go off and start crying, but she didn't know if her hormones were all completely back on track and she didn't want confusion to… re-activate the last 'bawl like a baby' kick.

When the door closed and she knew she was alone, she looked to the mirror with a sigh. "I look like a clown," she shook her head and ran the water to clean her face. She looked back at herself, blank-faced again…

She'd been trying to find herself again in there, ever since she'd come back, after the baby… She'd rejoined the Cheerios hoping it would lead the way, and she just… she didn't want to make the same mistakes all over again.

On that day she was wondering if she was just doomed to live a vicious cycle; it was certainly starting the same way. Quarterbacks, always quarterbacks… what was it about those guys?

She supposed it all boiled down to their personalities, what it took for them to be in that position… They were leaders, they looked out for people… Maybe she liked that. It was like… She had to play this part, so she got to be part of something, so if she was going to have someone by her side, then it had to be someone she knew would treat her well… and she still found a way to screw it up all on her own. Was she trying it all over again to try and finally get it right?

She'd done very well for herself, up to the moment, and she could have had her pick… She chose Finn. He was a good guy, a really good guy. She could tell he was into her, so… she tried. He was such a surprise, more than he seemed… Sure, he had these more… intelligently challenged moments, but that didn't play on who he was in his heart in the least. He let her see that, in so little time, and right then had her heart.

Some days she still wondered what things would have been like, if it hadn't been for the whole baby drama… For so long she'd told herself they had only gotten close like this out of necessity, looking out for one another in the middle of all this madness. But she knew it wasn't that way. It had sped it all up, but it would have gone somewhere… except she'd missed her chance, missed it so very hard. She'd made a mistake…

She didn't want that again, not with anyone. And then came Sam.

It was like déjà vu, some of it… Quarterback, kind, sweet… maybe not the brightest… and a bit of a dork… She'd felt something, being near him, and she'd followed that voice in her without even thinking. And then she did think, and… she panicked, ran away, into that bathroom. And now she waited.

Her heart was still racing, just a bit, and she had to stop and take a breath and figure out why… if it was just her fears, all the way, or if there was more to it…

She couldn't explain how deeply it had shaken her, recognizing these feelings springing up back there… it just made the last year come at her and it was like she couldn't breathe. It wasn't like she expected to go and jump into bed with the guy in an instant and find herself pregnant again, but then it wasn't all of it… A whole year of destruction… she didn't want to do that, couldn't have that… Fresh start, move forward, no repeats…

Except in her mind there was a battle or… something… On one side, there was a no-arguing refusal of anything, anyone, no matter what, but on the other… There was still one little sliver of hope in her somewhere, one who wondered if dismissing Sam so quickly would only ever lead to regret and unnecessary loneliness. Even if she tried, she could just end up getting her heart broken, and what good would that do? But then she supposed she had to try, consequences or no, otherwise she definitely would be alone… That she feared most of all.

She took a breath, let it out, looking at herself… Smile a little, lift your head… There it is… She made herself up again, ready to step back out.

THE END

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**A/N: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
****In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
****always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!**


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